i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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