Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
