A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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