we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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