soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
