the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
