Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
