eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
