marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
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There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
whose parrot is this?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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