Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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