I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
