Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
