then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize