I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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