If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
