Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
4 words: hood of his car
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
