Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
