"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
