I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
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your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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