She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
