god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
