Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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