Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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