Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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