I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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