Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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