i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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