that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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