i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
