I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
