my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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