sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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