i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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