I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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