Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
