Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
