I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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