I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
