they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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