So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
