is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
