someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
