you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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