just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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