I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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