Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
