Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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