You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
