my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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