porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
All the doctor said was why
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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