She is in my trunk
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
