So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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