while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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