College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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