I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
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that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
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New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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