I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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