fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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