He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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