Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
