she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
